12/08/2008

Weight & Me

Sigh. It's sad that some people, even my family members, prefer to comment on the surface rather than the substance when they see me. It annoys & frustrates me that I take the trouble to go out with people (yes honestly, I prefer to be at home than to dress up & go out) only to be told that I'm fat. So here's an emo account of Rowie & how she HATES being told she's fat.

Yes I am overweight, yes I am not as slim or pretty as the other skinny Chinese chicks out there but I feel my accomplishments so far should make up for these deficits, if they are indeed deficits. It angers me because when people say I'm fat, I immediately think that I've to starve, I'm worthless & crappy thoughts like that. It is a personal issue because when I was younger *sigh* I had spent 1 yr starving to get that perfect figure; it took a toll on my health, mentally & physically, luckily I stopped before things got out of hand.

The idea of losing weight is a bitter sweet notion for me: I want to lose weight because it'll get these idiots off my back, & of course, health reasons (although I feel I eat healthily enough, but yes, I do need to exercise); I don't want to lose weight because it feels like I'm not doing it for ME but for other people's viewing pleasure. So the topic of weight always brings frustration, anger, sadness; sticky business, folks.

I feel that if I were to lose weight, I'd do it at my own pace. There's no rush for me to lose weight quickly; I'm in no hurry to catch a man, or to join a beauty pageant/modeling contest; I've bigger issues to worry about: my studies (which is a lot of stuff), debating, orchestra, etc. In the bigger scheme of life, weight is really a tiny speck in the huge river of it.

Chubby Rowie has a nicer smile
So if I keep complaining that I ought to lose weight, bear with me. I know that I have to but buddies, remind me that it's not something I've to die for. Remind me that I know what to do with myself & trust that I will do it. Remind me that being beautiful is not just on the outside but also on the inside. To you suckers who want to prance around & have a thin, pretty, petite niece/daughter/friend to show off, well take a finger from me. Heaven knows you need to get one up your fine bums. Thanks to my friends & family members who remind me that I'm more than just a chubby Chinese girl.

PS. Sorry for the emotional post but I figure I've a right to speak my mind :)

6 comments:

jaray said...

dear chubby jo,

if jo is thin, jo wont b jo...
hahaha... jk la...

i nvr see u as chubby la...
who say u chubby shld d shot!
wen i say go McD n pizza, tell me NO k?
chubby 1 is me =.=
i get depressive too... wen i see my huge tummy... NO!!!

cheer up! let's go carl's jr!!!
hahaha...

Fairy said...

I lost 13 lbs in only two weeks by obeying this one easy rule http://www.officialacaidiet.com/index.php?id=One+Simple+Dieting+Rule

Rowan said...

@Jaray: Thanks dearie...I'm just sick of people pressuring me to lose weight. I know what to do, damn it. I feel like telling them to chug some alcohol or something, sheesh, get yourself a problem to really worry about...

@Fairy: Thanks for the hint, though I'm not a fan of weight loss products :)

Goose said...

You look great, and you eat well enough. Theres no problems at all.

Compared to chinese girls who work on rice paddies and eat off the floor, maybe you have put on a little weight, but to anyone in the modern world your perfect.

Rowan said...

Thanks Rob. I don't know why I'm still carrying that cloud around, even today :/

Albrecht said...

Um... I nvr made fun of your weight in a mere critical way rite?
Owh JoAnn c'mon yea, ok... in your definition... chubby @ faT @ chunky @ "big" means U.G.L.Y...
You know it's not true :)
I bet no soul ever said you're not good looking or you're a turn off.
Even if... even even if... even even even even if.. there was such a person, I'm sure you'd prove that somebody that their wrong.

p.s.
What's life if you can't enjoy the foods you love the most ;p